At some point or another every guy hears that in the old days, during the Golden Age of tango, men would learn the woman's part before they would be taught the man's part. The explanation being that tango was taught informally, just a bunch of guys getting together to shoot the breeze and work on their moves, and this, together with traditional gender roles made it unseemly for the ladies to join the men in learning to dance.
Nowadays, this bit of history is used to encourage guys to practice with each other when there aren't enough women in a class, and to encourage the men to learn the woman's part in order to further their own understanding and appreciation of the marca.
I was lucky to learn the woman's part at the same time as I was learning the man's (a girlfriend was my first teacher, y sabe marcar), and the woman's part came along faster than the man's. This gave me a healthy respect for the woman's role, along with clarity in what I had to do as a guy, for by knowing what the woman is feeling, I can change the marca to create the desired effect. Another benefit is that when learning a step or move from another guy, it's oftentimes easier to just accompany them, so you can feel what they're doing, instead of having them break it down and explain it to you, because as the ladies know, sometimes, what the guy has in his head is going on, has very little to do with what the woman is feeling.
Given US American culture, just how feasible is it to get the guys to learn the woman's part ?
Some communities are lucky- where the scene is big enough that going slow to get it right has a recognizable payoff, and where the local stars and teachers are masculine yet able and open to doing the woman's part to get a point across if it's required. However, many communities don't have these things going for them. For these places, what are the benefits to learning the woman's part, and can they be gotten a different way?
Benefits include knowing
. . . how many ways an embrace can go bad.
. . . where the guy is moving and timing.
. . . where a step has it's zing.
. . . associations and options.
. . . asymmetrical musicality.
. . . respect for her role.
. . . aliaception.
How many ways an embrace can go bad-
Is this guy holding his arm too stiff, holding me too lightly, like he's afraid of me, too tightly, not letting me move, etc.
- Another way to learn this is via classroom or private instruction on the embrace, and dancing with women who will give you feedback you will respect.
Where the guy is moving and timing-
Where is he placing his feet, what's that causing to my axis, what part of what he's doing am I paying the most attention to in knowing where to move, what's his timing?
- Classroom or private instruction on where to move. Mnemonic aids are useful for the timing, such as pam-di-di-bam, and listening to the music :)
Where a step has it's zing-
What about this step feels best?
- Ask your practice partner.
Associations and options-
What other steps does this remind me of, are there any interesting detours we could take?
- Ask your practice partner and experiment, use nuevo methodology (try it in parallel vs. crossed systems, on the other leg, mirrored, circular vs. linear, on vs. off-axis, etc.).
Asymmetrical musicality-
Hey, he goes bam diddy bam, but I go swoosh swoosh, where in a song have I heard that before?
- Ask your practice partner, pay attention to it yourself, classroom instruction.
Respect for her role-
Whoa, this is way harder than it looks.
- Good manners.
Aliaception-
The knowledge of another person's body (tension, positioning, and quality of movement) via one's sense of touch.
- Aha! The most common way men gain this faculty is via dance experience and experimentation, which can take a while until you sort out which part you're doing wrong, and which part is her doing. However, this is what women concentrate all the time, it's exactly the perceptive skill asked of them in order to fulfill their role well. Men, by concentrating on this specific perceptive skill, can likewise be more sensitive to their partner, where and how she's moving, what she's hearing in the music, make seamless adjustments, and explore the dance that's in her body- just like the gals gift us every dance :-)
